7 Basic Tips For Stress Free Wedding Planning

Meeting someone you fancy is fun…

…getting to know them is wonderful, falling in love is phenomenal, getting engaged is euphoric, planning a wedding is……….daunting!!

So, you’re engaged, congratulations!! You probably have a million things whirling around in your head…you are wondering where to begin! If this sounds familiar then please read on as the tips below will help set you and your partner off in the right direction for planning the best day of your lives together…..

Often when we have soon-to-weds asking us for advice on aspects of their wedding photos, we can hear a slight inflection in their voices. This often means that a couple are either hoping to hear the answer they want, or they are worried that the question may sound silly.

Be assured, we love to answer questions and provide as much information as we can but here are a few tips to help take some of the stress out of wedding planning…….

Organisation is key!

This might sound obvious, but seriously - this is were it begins. Like all great adventures in life, your wedding will require planning in minute detail so that you can relax on the big day and know it’s all been taken care of and thought through before hand. This requires a certain amount of time consuming research, meeting with vendors, sourcing a venue etc …the list goes on! However, it is important for you both to be a team from the outset and have a shared vision and to share the work that goes into making to all happen!

My advice would be to create a timeline from the outset. Whether you’re having the big, traditional church wedding or saying your vows at the local City Hall either abroad or locally, you will need to have an idea of what time line will be necessary. These days, fortunately, there are many wedding planning tools on the internet or perhaps you prefer the pen and paper method, either way have a folder, be organised, keep your stuff together….. receipts, letters, emails, contact details, personal notes, written ideas, photos you’ve taken during venue visits….everything! It’ll stand by you throughout the full planning process.

To help you with this, I have devised a free downloadable checklist for you to think through some time line key dates so you can tick them off as you go, what can be more satisfying?!

Budget and Priorities

Okay, It’s time to talk money! (Gulp!) Quite often the most daunting question a newly engaged couple will ask themselves is, “how much will all of this cost?” My advice would be to remember that your wedding day is just one day of your life that you will love and cherish forever, you want to enjoy every second and get it just right, however from personal experience I know that the day also flies in!! You will wonder where the day has gone. I know it is easy to say but, don’t let money worries add to any stress leading up to your wedding day, therefore, you need to have clear priorities about where your money is going and what is important to you both.

First of all, you need to think of numbers in terms of your party size. This is obvious enough, but party size and budget go hand in hand and will ultimately affect your decisions on suitable venue as well. So, from the outset you need to have a chat with your partner if you can realistically afford the big shin dig with all the long lost family members, friends, work colleagues and so on, or would you perhaps prefer a smaller, more intimate wedding and then host a celebratory party at a later stage so everyone can congratulate you. These days, with the restrictions on size of gatherings due to Covid 19 this can be the most realistic option, if so, embrace it!

Once you’ve decided on your party size, you need to do some research on suitable venues. Its a good idea to have a contingency fund incorporated into your budget of approximately 5- 10 %. You’ll be surprised how those little extras can really add up. However, I would also say that it is important to remember that a contingency fund is there in an emergency, if you really need it! It doesn’t mean you can use it to blow the original budget on specific details!!

Quite often, if financial assistance is offered from family members this can come as welcome relief, however, don’t let this cloud your judgement on what kind of day YOU want. My advice would be to remember that it is YOUR day and therefore make sure that there is a mutual understanding from the get-go that it is your wedding day, regardless of where the money comes from. If you feel this might cause any issues with well meaning family members, then an option might be to draw up a plan to pay the money back over time or could you scale back your wedding so you can afford to pay for it yourselves? Or another option could involve saving up for longer by putting the wedding date a little further into the future? Again, decide what is most important to you and your partner!

Free advice is everywhere!!!

As soon as you get engaged it’s easy to spend hours upon hours googling different venues, vendors, reading reviews and looking at pictures online. However, remember not to try to reinvent the wheel! Our advice is to look around you at those people close to you who have already had their special day. .. Ask them what their favourite part of their day was. What one bit of advice or wisdom would they give? Can they recommend any vendors?

Free advice is often closer than you think and other people’s experiences go a long way. Of course wedding vendors are always going to offer advice based on experience and expertise, but remember to use your little folder with all your notes and points that you want to ask about.  When you do book Wedding vendors, don’t be afraid to ask them anything to help you out along your way.

Finish your to-do-list with a treat.

Love them or loathe them, those check lists and planners really can assist you to feel more organised. Visiting vendors and venues can take up quite a bit of time but having these tasks written down and then ticked off, will provide a lot of satisfaction during planning. Remember to keep your finished to-do lists in your folder. If you are visiting a venue or a vendor, it’s often a great idea to make a day of it (if you have the time!) by rewarding yourself with a coffee or tasty meal! Adding dates and deadlines also enables you to create short and long term targets as a way to map out your planning. 

Designate time 

Communication is key to stress free wedding planning. Communication with vendors, venue manager, photographer, your officiant etc but most importantly with yourselves. Knowing you are both on the same page at every stage of the planning helps ease any doubts. Be sure to keep track of all your hard work and research and always whittle your options down to help make final decisions. 

Be careful you don’t become so consumed by your wedding planning that you struggle to remember a time before the planning started. Remember to have designated ‘no wedding talk’ time during which wedding-related discussions are off-limits. This way, when you return to discussions you will be refreshed and have a clear mind to make good decisions.

Delegate

Wedding planning is not meant to be a one person operation! Perhaps you have thought of a wedding planner or keen relatives and friends have some spare time and are willing to help. Either way, definitely do not try to micro manage every little detail. Give some responsibility over to those that are willing to help, whether it is picking a reading for the ceremony, helping to choose a piece of music for you to walk down the aisle to, putting together your wedding ceremony booklet, helping with the lists of guests names for each table…..my goodness, the list goes on!) enlisting some help will take the pressure off your shoulders. The more boxes ticked on your to-do list, the more time and energy you’ll have to focus on the big-picture items. Delegation can be a great way of involving family members or friends who want to be a part of your special day and makes them feel more important in the process!

Trust yourself and remember this…..

Making so many decisions can easily drag you into multiple mental tug-o-wars. Trust yourselves, your instincts and your decisions and remember that it is YOUR day. Try not to become too bogged down with opinions of well meaning family members, friends, work colleagues etc, it will fry your head and cloud your judgement! Many well meaning people will give you their own personal experiences or tales of woe. Be true to yourselves and have confidence to have the kind of day you want, this way you won’t regret anything. Remember that when it all becomes a bit over whelming, the simple truth is that you are planning the most exciting and beautiful day of your lives and that’s what it will be, regardless of other people’s opinions or expectations of what a wedding day should be like! In fact, forgetting “tradition” to a certain extent can help take the pressure out of the day. A wedding day can have many connotations associated with it, but are any of these particularly meaningful to you and your partner? Whittle down what “traditions”you feel are most important as this will make it even more meaningful.

I do love a quote as food for thought….so one final thought:

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt.

Best wishes planning for your wedding day!